This is a story of a little pig. We had friends staying in the gite who wanted to take us out for a meal at a restaurant we all visited last time they were here, a forty minute drive away the table was booked for 8pm.
Animals all fed, watered and walked with jobs finished farmer J went AWOL down the road on errands. I was showered, wearing a new dress, make up and even cream on my legs waiting whiling away the time picking up emails and the like at the kitchen table, miss F was ready too. Farmer J wasn't.
Barking from the dogs alerted me to our neighbours son who arrived on his scooter coming back from work. " there's a pig out in the road" he said, I thanked him for letting us know, "do you need help getting it back?" no I said (as Miss F was here and it was probably one of Master C's pot bellied pigs that can be walked along the road ((something we don't do often mad English and all that)) something me and Miss F could handle).
A quick change, bread in hand off we trundled up the road past master C's three pigs in their field. Poo bags it was one of the pigs up the hill, sussing out which pen it came from - the young ones up the top this wasn't going to be as easy as we thought. Thankfully farmer J came back as we were making our way to track down the pig. Yes it was on the road but in the wrong direction towards the main road.
Now pig catching isn't simple you need to think like a pig as to how its going to react by usually running, most often in the direction you don't want them to. They also run towards you but theres no way you can stop them. We needed to be in front of it with any hope of turning it around to go back the way it came.
Unfortunately before we got anywhere near it shot off into the field bounded by woods. Slowly so not to freak it out I crept along the road trying to get through to the other side of the woods. At this point we had our french holiday home neighbour's watching. Miss F was at the bottom of the other side of woodland when farmer J turned up to beat it out (not literally). Being black it was hard to see and it was very freaked out so up and down we went as it went up to the road one way then back down in the woods - bread was not going to do it.
Luckily we did managed to get it on the road and in the right direction, it took an age and a long time walking back. Farmer J was in front of us where he had blocked the road with my car and a pallet and opened up Sandy's pen where we managed to get it into (Sandy and the babes were locked out).
He made a fair bit of noise so in turn all the other pigs started grunting. We really didn't want Sandy jumping over back into her hut, it was a bit stressful for us too. So strong it took two metal sides of the trailer to pen it in while farmer J tied legs together ready to lift it into the back of the land rover. This was the only way we could see of getting it back safely into its run. He had a big does of rescue remedy to help calm him after his ordeal.
I was in the back holding the poor piggy down as farmer J reversed up the hill. Carrying him to his hut while farmer J kept him still I removed the tied rope where he stayed for a while before laying down in his wallow.
Of course by this time it was too late for the restaurant. We ended in Najac for a pizza. While in the car I saw a louse on my shoulder, picked it off then felt something in my hair, yes it was another louse. Miss F was delousing me on the way up the hill. I still had one on me in the restaurant which was stealthily removed by miss F. Just as well we were the only ones eating there although our friends did feel a little itchy. I guess the lice thought this pigs a goner and jumped piggy onto me as I was holding him down.
Thankfully farmer J piped up that they wouldn't stay on me long, not being a pig, this didn't really feel me with reassurance. No more lice were found but I was itchy for a while. So working with animals is like working with children although I never had head lice given to me by a child, maybe because they were not restrained with their legs tied and held down.
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